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Post  PatriciafromCO Sun Feb 26, 2012 5:55 pm

Just sending good thoughts your way, so many things going on right now , not sure which one to ask about.. So hope your doing well and look forward to hearing eveyone and you are ok soon. Question
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Post  Admin Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:19 pm

Got your voice message....heard my phone ring but I was right in the middle of everybody checking out for the night...phone ringing off the hook from 5:00 till a little after 6:00.

Waylon is improving everyday...with the weather, tho....I'm having to fashion a new pair of foamboard shoes for him everyday (got lucky twice, where he hadn't wrecked them, and was able to cut off all the old tape, and just retape them on)...I got smart, too...and have a "model" to trace, so I don't have to trace his foot everytime. Just doing him new shoes on a daily basis and getting them on takes about an hour....cutting them out takes the longest time.

Moj is doing ok...he had his first spell since September on Valentines day (I think)...but it only lasted 3 or 4 hours, so it was a short one. I was sad, but got over it...we can do a couple a year with no problem.

Lymph node is still hanging in there, and I found another swollen one on Sat, right at my bikini line....so don't think going to Head and Neck Surgeon is going to be the end of this journey. But...I am hoping that whatever the journey is, it will finally get started by this guy. A person could die just waiting to get in to see the Dr.!! I keep thinking....Greg's shoulder hurt, and he got a MRI the next day. When he had Divertriclitus, they had him in a CAT scan the same day...but I can't even get a blood test going....fuck! Anyway, I showed Greg this other lymph node, and he said..."What are they going to do now do ya suppose? Send you to a "hip Dr."? LOL...he makes me laugh. So.....of course, this has been weighing heavily on my mind...tho I can tell you once the total panic passed...the "I'm not ready to die" thing...I decided to look at the positive side of dying.....ALL the things I won't have to worry about anymore...and a list of things I won't miss....they exceed the things I want to hang in there to do by a lot. Smile I just have to wait....and wait some more....to find out what is what. One positive thing tho...my dad had this happen....where many lymph nodes swelled up. They sent him right off to Seattle to get checked out for Lymphoma...and he didn't have it. I don't know what they decided other than keep an eye on him (this was many years ago, and I didn't even know about it till both my sisters told me in the last month)...so maybe the same is true for me? It will be a mystery but nothing deadly.

Anyway....having some calm days...then days where the rat climbs on the wheel in my gut...and anxiety has a field day with my mind....You know I'm not a sit and wait type....when something needs doing, I want to get going and get it done. I hate shit looming over my head. Going thru some type of treatment scares me....I mean chemo for phannie....YIKES. Tho, I happen to be a person who likes "cancer hair cuts"....you know....like when a person's hair starts coming back in, it's usually a little cap of curls...and I'd get a chance to see if I might want that for my new doo...LOL. My mind is really all over the place.

I have one more Shake for tomorrow....I'm hooked on this stuff. Look forward to having everyday.... Smile Hope my new supply gets here by Weds....I'll have to get imaginative to feed myself in the morning...and it won't be icecream!!!

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Post  PatriciafromCO Tue Feb 28, 2012 8:54 am

Am glad your hanging in there,, and I did check your shakeology should arrive on time.. Am going to look for another forum... creepy with all the regular lurkers in here reading through post..
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Post  Admin Tue Feb 28, 2012 10:28 am

We have lurkers??? How can you tell? I can't even find this in a search engine...is there some way to see if people are reading this?
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Post  PatriciafromCO Tue Feb 28, 2012 10:46 am

well if you didn't read your own post (this one 10 times) some one else did... lol.. just really creepy to look how many times the post have been viewed and then see the states that there was 3 of us in the forum at the same time.. especially when there is only two of us lol ... You need to ask Donna at the GSD.. they have the same forumotion set up,,, how she keeps the main body and post unavailable to those who aren't registered.. Am thinking is has something to do with setting up usergroups (not sure) but am thinking Donna would know since they set up that group to be that way and it's the same free type forum...

would be nice to know this is a closed forum from reading unless your a registered member...
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Post  Admin Tue Feb 28, 2012 11:21 am

LOL...that me!! I post then read to check for typo's, misspellings, add something I forgot, change wording so it makes sense, and even punctuation if I missed something (all Virgo shit)....and of course, I keep checking in to see if you've answered....I can crack up 5 views in one sitting....hahahahahaha.

I'll ask Donna how to keep it totally private, tho.

We could use the private messaging thing, tho...too...that's how we used to do it.

I've been in this message three times already, just saying this little tiny bit...LOL


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Post  PatriciafromCO Tue Feb 28, 2012 8:59 pm

Ok Question if you say so,,, still doesn't acount for 3 people on the board at the same time... Just has to be a way to lock it up and not worry about it. Been Busy and it's just keeps getting busier.. Doing cold calling for practice and I finally told a guy was just hateful after saying hi that I was calling him back because he filled out a form and wanted to be called back . He had been called so many times from other people,, that he was just ready to tell me what he didn't get to say to the last people.. and I said ,, Your right... why don't I get my team to work double shifts non stop while you sit on the couch watching tv and not contribute any time effort or investment.. And we will do the work for you, and you can just get paid for being the valuable person you are for doing nothing in a team that is busting their butts for their own families and goals .. That is what your looking for , what you seem to want someone to offer you, I'll tell you this why don't I give you my number and when someone calls you with that opportunity,, give me a call for a job opportunity ok... What a Face

He got really quiet, and said ok what opportunity are you offering.. and I explained to him this was only a pre screening interview to see if he was someone we could work with.. And at this time it was not what I was looking for to continue.. But please be a little more open minded in the future that it's a process to set someone up in a home base business successfully, Thanks and have a great day..
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Post  Admin Wed Feb 29, 2012 2:23 pm

LOL....I wonder if he got the picture?? I could never do sales work....ever...ever...ever....and cold calls....they aren't anybody's favorite (even people I know who are in sales for a living)...

Having a squirrel cage day, guts rolling, brain sprinning....so going to work tonight might be good...Greg is cranky, I'm edgy...doesn't make for a good mix in a small house.

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Post  PatriciafromCO Wed Feb 29, 2012 4:11 pm

who knows if he will do it to the next person lol.. Am happy for the opportunity to do them. No way I am going to get out every day to come into contact with people to grow the biz.. So appreciate having this approach.. Am sure I will get better and more focused at it.

Wind has been on high for 24 hours now. UPS came by yesterday and said there was a semi roll over right at our exit, nothing new the stretch right at our exit to the next exit is a common spot.. It's the gust coming across us. Am glad today the temperture is warm, yesterday it was icy cold..

Sorry your not feeling well.. is it nerves or you coming down with a bug?
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Post  Admin Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:13 pm

Nerves.....been a downhill slide since I found more swollen lymph nodes....I'm really scared...really, REALLY scared.

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Post  PatriciafromCO Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:19 am

Can't believe they making you wait so long to get some answers.. No
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Post  Admin Thu Mar 01, 2012 3:15 am

After 4 trips to Family Health, they decided to have me see the Head and Neck guy....and he was all booked up for a month....that's why it's taking so long. Now that I'm only four days away from seeing him, tho...and now getting lumps in my groin, I can't see that he's going to do anything with the one on my neck now....seems that what is going on is more sestemic.

I was getting used to living with the one on my neck...even comfortable that we'd just get it out and this little episode in life would be done and over. But when I found these other ones (one is about the size of a small pea, and the other smaller)...I got panicy at first....and that slid into that kind of suppressed edginess/depression ya get when you're dealing with something for a long time, and you have no control of your life. Greg says it's from living in the problem, instead of a solution....and having to wait for a solution is now only 4 days away, and then it will get better....maybe that's true. If this is something potentially deadly, then in the nearly 2 months they've been fucking around with me...it's gotten worse.

If I have to go somewhere else for treatment (good treatment, I should say)...then my animals become a big problem. I've only got two animals left, and both of them are intensive care....and I have a husband who has resented the hell out of one for almost 4 years...and one for a month. I don't think he will willingly care for them, and I can't send them anywhere to be cared for by someone else.

Then there's the treatment itself. If this is one of the MANY variations of lymphoma...then what exactly would treatment be? They have different types of chemo for all of them, and in a sub-catagory...it depends on the stage of the lymphoma is in...some drugs are extremely hard on a body, some not so bad....everything is so up in the air. I keep telling myself "I don't FEEL sick"...I'm in pretty good shape...on the flip side, I'm over 60 (and getting older every minute they fuck around doing something...I mean they COULD have do a blood panel the first time I was there...or the second or the third....or for sure the fouth time I was there)...I flip-flop constantly between "I'll be fine"..."I'm gonna die"...

So...I haven't been very talkative...ya noticed? Smile I'm just putting one foot in front of the other, ticking days off the calendar....trudging towards whatever destiny has in mind for me.

All this however, doesn't mean I'm not excited for you and your new occupation/future vocation...I AM!!! And going to LA to get all that you need to be a success FIRST HAND is wonderful...you're already a dedicated worker....I know that talking to people isn't something you'd do if you didn't believe so much in your product....and that "belief" is what sells a product....and it takes courage to do something that scares you....I'm proud of you!!

On the midnight to 8:00 shift this week...this is my Monday...no sleep of course before I left...going to try for a power nap here.

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Post  PatriciafromCO Thu Mar 01, 2012 6:29 pm

fully understand not being talkative, no worries.. Am glad I understand better what is going on, do worry about you Razz Always thought the lymp nodes were a good thing that what is going on your lymp nodes are working hard to correct it. Can say the medical system sucks, but that would of been my first impression and your situation just makes it more real.. Just shameful they couldn't even do the basics for you... ugh ugh ugh !!!!!

Hugs your way sweetie,, keeping you in my thoughts..
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Post  Admin Fri Mar 02, 2012 6:54 am

Unfortuately, the lymph nodes get sick, too....and when they do it's serious. Lymph nodes can swell if you get sick, like with a cold or tonsilitus, etc...but they go back down when the illness runs it's course. The one in my neck is BIG, and doesn't appear to be going anywhere...then to have more pop up in my groin, says that something definately is happening inside my body.

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Post  PatriciafromCO Fri Mar 02, 2012 8:00 am

Ok,,, was up early did another round of 90 minute yoga , just like the radiant balance feel when your done doing it.. And it helps me think.. Been listening to Marketing training tapes and it makes a huge difference for me learning to me more professional towards people.. Just something I have only gathered information about from being telemarketed at me.. And it's not that way at all .. Made a world of difference in how I feel about doing this business and talking to people,, I don't be a jerk like the jerks have called me, so I know I can do this and feel good about being a good person. Doing the yoga helps me relax and abosorb all the idea's in the training..

Thanks for the support that I will do well, feel having the knowledge that is useful and understanding it ,really will make the difference. So much to take in but it's sinking in. Tim is really happy, he see's me struggling having so much to learn that I have never been exposed to, but sees me pushing through that I will learn it.. Glad he is supportive too. Will let you now what Adele thinks of him, and how the sleeping situation goes, since Adele is my snuggle bear at night lol lol ... So interested to see first hand what she thinks of it.. lol ..

She was being funny halarious yesterday morning.. She had a goose egg all the way in her mouth and as the dogs would pass by she would pull her lips back and expose part of that egg in her mouth, it would make the dogs take a double take to check out what she had.. It was so funny that she was flashing that egg at the dogs lol lol .. too cute silly... She is a happy breed..

Hugs for today for you, keeping you in my thoughts alien
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Post  Admin Mon Mar 05, 2012 8:28 am

Have my Dr. appointment at 8:30 this morning....send me good juju...I'm a wreck, even tho I doubt I'll get out from under this cloud of doom until I'm assured I'm cancer free. At least we're starting to work to a solution, instead of hovering in the problem....right?

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Post  PatriciafromCO Mon Mar 05, 2012 10:29 am

sending all the ju ju I got and asking for more sweetie..... cat
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